6 days to go

Well, up until last week I thought that I'd be okay through to the middle of August. Then I went to the doctor last week and they started talking about not wanting to let me go very late... We have an ultrasound scheduled first thing tomorrow morning, and will find out maybe better what they mean by "not very late." So suddenly instead of having "plenty of time" I'm crunched for time!

Somehow, I'm still not afraid. The people at work think I'm fairly calm about the idea of labor. I don't know if that is foolishness or bravery. Or maybe just not knowing what it is all about. But I will admit that the child birthing classes has given me confidence that I can do this.

Only gained about 20 pounds but *pout* I am finally starting to get new stretch marks (I already had quite a few from being overweight. But they were pink-white not this deep red that these are now. AND they are now getting wider, with the red showing. And some places it seems to be cracking and leaving blood scabs behind! And unlike everything else, this almost makes me want to have the Baby Tonight! Just to avoid dealing with stretch marks -- and I never thought I'd care about stretch marks. My husband doesn't seem to care. But I'm just looking at them and hating them.

My belly button is mostly all outside. And I can't see below my belly button without using a mirror. And today I got an interesting question: what am I going to take to the hospital with me to pass the time. I've finished Harry Potter now. So... I don't know. I don't know what I will want. Or feel like. Or anything.

(Being at work on the other hand scares me because I don't have a great deal of hope for what is going to happen when I am on maternity leave. I hate leaving things here but I just don't see any way around it now)