Feeling the Blues
So now it looks pretty certain we are moving, I am looking around and realizing I have more here than I thought. Previously, I thought the one thing about here I'd really miss are our rocking friends-close-as-family. But yesterday I was sitting there in church, in uncontrollable tears at the idea of leaving our church.
I'll never finish the Bachelor's degree I've been working on since before we got married. I will never sit in on another Adoption Sunday, or have the possibility of helping over at Antioch Adoptions (or even to adopt through them should we end up not being able to have kids.) No more Marriage Rally at the mall. No more wonderful, crazy baby showers for 4 or 5 gals at once through the Newly Marrieds class -- I had just changed churches when I got married, so no one really cared at the time. And now it appears if we get pregnant, we'll be in the same situation (and we have to change churches! Mr. Boaz has never found a church before. And I have made some really bad choices in the past!... Though it does help that Boaz is confident that he can ask for advice before we leave and we'll find where God wants us when we get there) And I won't get to do meals anymore. And our church has excellent programs to really train the junior high and high-schoolers to confront the world with the message of Christ. Will we be able to find another church with that? certainly the ones I grew up in did not have it.
I fear losing one of my friendships that has been hard to stick together since we moved out of the same complex.
Oh and I love our apartment here. And my boss is wonderful. Even if I can stay with the company when we move, the dynamics of the people will be different. And they may not value me like here does. And I really crave being needed.
And I am just beginning to meet people from online who are local. And it takes me forever to get settled in/make friends/etc... I had not thought until yesterday that I would miss my church so much even. I had thought it was too big.
Since it is impossible to get my degree before I leave, I wonder if I should ease off on the classes to give myself more time to be with the people here before I leave. But... The classes offered are so interesting just for information sake how can I leave it behind?
I'll never finish the Bachelor's degree I've been working on since before we got married. I will never sit in on another Adoption Sunday, or have the possibility of helping over at Antioch Adoptions (or even to adopt through them should we end up not being able to have kids.) No more Marriage Rally at the mall. No more wonderful, crazy baby showers for 4 or 5 gals at once through the Newly Marrieds class -- I had just changed churches when I got married, so no one really cared at the time. And now it appears if we get pregnant, we'll be in the same situation (and we have to change churches! Mr. Boaz has never found a church before. And I have made some really bad choices in the past!... Though it does help that Boaz is confident that he can ask for advice before we leave and we'll find where God wants us when we get there) And I won't get to do meals anymore. And our church has excellent programs to really train the junior high and high-schoolers to confront the world with the message of Christ. Will we be able to find another church with that? certainly the ones I grew up in did not have it.
I fear losing one of my friendships that has been hard to stick together since we moved out of the same complex.
Oh and I love our apartment here. And my boss is wonderful. Even if I can stay with the company when we move, the dynamics of the people will be different. And they may not value me like here does. And I really crave being needed.
And I am just beginning to meet people from online who are local. And it takes me forever to get settled in/make friends/etc... I had not thought until yesterday that I would miss my church so much even. I had thought it was too big.
Since it is impossible to get my degree before I leave, I wonder if I should ease off on the classes to give myself more time to be with the people here before I leave. But... The classes offered are so interesting just for information sake how can I leave it behind?
posted by MommyLydia | 11/13/2006 10:07:00 PM
3 Comments:
Hello, I have just for the first time read your blog. I want to leave something for you to think about.
You sound like a terrific christian lady who is sincere and well-meaning. I did notice that you mention zodiac sign and zodiac year on your profile. A lot of christians don't realize it but these things are occultic and unrealized occultic things can complicate our lives in ways we didn't even realize. (see Derek Prince's book "Blessing or Curse" for a great discussion of this) And even though we never intended to have dealings with occultic things. Some things we just didn't recognize as such. I wish someone had told me all this sooner.
I'm not judging you; just passing along something that I've learned. You should seriously consider ditching the little bit of zodiac stuff that you mention. Didn't say you have to, just that it would be good. God always waits for us to figure it out and lets us get rid of stuff ourselves, except for the time when he seems to really to hit us over the head about something.
Just a thought. Thanks for your contribution to the blogosphere.
I abhor astrology and everything about it. The only place I use it is Sims because that is how they "determine" personality. But even there it is just points in various traits. It doesn't mean anything to me.
As you spend more time on blogger webblogs you will discover that we do not have control over what they choose to put in our profile. I can put a fake birthday and year in and then they will put in different astrology information. Or I can choose to not show profile at all.
I have no choice to remove or add this information. So it is a good thing you are not judging me for something I have little control over. (I could choose to leave blogger I guess)
Thanks for the reply. I don't know what you mean by Sims but I do think I understand the point that blogger just puts in an astro sign whether you want it or not. Bummer, huh?
Well, glad you're out there and keep blogging. I just read your tip about putting sour cream on spicy foods. Thanks! I'm going to try it.
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